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Astropup ~ Virtual Reality World

Kindly sponsored by RXBAR Kids with a 25% off offer if you live in the USA.

RXbar Kids Offer

Story by Bertie.
Read by Richard.
Proofed and audio edited by Jana Elizabeth.

Hello, this is Richard.
Before the story, we have a special message about RXBAR kids, who are helping make this episode possible. A RXBAR is a delicious, healthy whole food snack, with no added sugar. For the nutritious details, who better to fill you in than our resident scientist, The Parrot!

Thank you Richard! Whenever I go on a space mission with Astropup and Marlow, we always take a good supply of Rxbar Kids with us. Each bar has a base of egg whites, fruit and nuts and provides seven grams of protein. Really importantly it has zero added sugar. And no gluten, soy, dairy or any bad stuff. So next time you travel in space, be sure to take Rxbar with you.

Thank you Mr Parrot Sir. And you don't actually have to wait until you get a ticket on a spaceship. Rxbar Kids is a genuinely healthy snack and is ideal for breakfast, school or pre sport. Here's Bertie, who’s going to tell you how to get a 25% discount on your first order.

If you live in the USA, please visit RXBAR Kids and enter the promo code "storynory" for 25% off your first order.

Thanks Bertie. So everyone, don't forget to order your Rxbar’s at Storynory.com. Now for the story. Over to Astropup!

Astropup
We were travelling through space. As I have mentioned before, one bit of space is much like another. After a few years, it tends to get boring.

But what if you could spend all that journey time in a state of total bliss? Doesn’t that idea make perfect sense for long-distance space travellers? After all, bliss is a lot less boring than boredom.

I suppose that the lure of bliss is why we almost fell into a deadly trap. It happened like this.

We knew that danger was heading our way. The parrot had rigged up our ship’s early warning systems to his right foot. If any Cat Ship came within 10 million miles of us, his claw turned bright red.

One time, when he was about to pick up a peanut with his foot, he noticed the danger signal. He immediately called out:

“Alert! Alert! Alert!”

Which was more than enough to wake up Marlow and me with a jolt.

“Are we under attack?” asked Marlow.

“Not yet,” said the parrot. “But we are a mere 10 million miles from disaster.”

“That sounds like a lot,” said Marlow.

“I just thought you would sleep sounder,” said the parrot, “knowing that my ever watchful genius is keeping you safe. I am taking immediate evasive action.”

“Woof!’ I said. “GRRRRREAT! Er, what does ‘evasive’ mean?”

“It means that we are avoiding a Giant Armada of Cat Command Ships!” said the parrot. “But it also means we will have to go round the long way, so you might as well get some more shuteye.”

“Right-oh, Sir,” I said, and I curled round and tucked my head under my left paw.

It was sometime later, perhaps a week or so, that we were woken up a second time by the parrot:

“Alert! Alert! Alert!”

“What is it this time?” asked Marlow.

“Alien Spaceship approaching!” called out the parrot.

Marlow wiped some sleep from his eyes. “How many million miles away?” he asked.

“Not millions of miles,” said the parrot. “Approximately 100 meters.”

Marlow stared through the porthole. A few seconds later there was a loud, “Ding Dong!” as the approaching spaceship activated our doorbell.

Naturally I scuttled excitedly up the corridor to the airlock exit and barked my head off:

“Woof! Woof! Woof!” Let no one say I don’t do my duty as a dog.

“What next?” asked Marlow.

“Since he rang the bell,” said the parrot, “It would be good manners to open the door.”

Marlow activated the outer airlock, to allow the visitor into our entry hall, then closed the outer door and opened the inner one to allow access into our ship. I wasn't at all sure that it was wise to let in a complete stranger, and so I kept up the woofs of warning.

And what do you know? A little red robot rolled into our cabin. It was clutching a parcel in his mechanical claws. “Delivery,” it said. “Sign here.”

The parrot scratched an X mark on the robots electronic notepad.

“Thank you. Have a nice day!” said the robot, before reversing back into the airlock.

Marlow peered at the box that the robot had left behind. “Shall I open it?” he asked.

“Oh, yes, please do, hurry up and open it,” I yapped. “There might be crunchy biscuits inside, or a new dog bed, or some chewy sticks.”

“Or a bomb,” said Marlow.

“Well, if you're curious, there is one way to find out,” said the parrot, and he hopped over and sliced through the packaging with his claw. Then Marlow ripped it open some more, and I helped by dancing around and wagging my tail.

Inside we found more wrapping and eventually, among all the stuffing, we reached three identical boxes with writing on them. “What does it say? What does it say?” I asked.

“It says,” replied Marlow, “Virtual Reality Headsets for Blissful Space Travel. Experience enhanced dreams 100 times better than real life.”

“I don’t understand. Can you eat them?” I asked.

“It looks like you wear them,” he replied.

“Ooh, ooh, can I try one?”

Marlow took a headset out of the box. It looked like a set of large goggles. He fixed them on my nose.

“Do they suit me?” I asked.

“They’re not meant to suit you, they’re meant to show you an alternative reality,” said Marlow, feeling around my head. “Here now, this seems to be the on-off switch.” He flicked a button and then suddenly:

Ahh!!!!
BLISS!!!!

For I was with Jenny, my first, my one, and my only true owner. Nothing is better than being with Jenny because she loves me, feeds me, and takes me for walkies - well she did until I was cruelly torn away from her by her dad, and given to the space force. That’s all in the very first story about me, which I told you way back when.

But now, with these VR glasses strapped around my head, I was in the park with Jenny, chasing squirrels, trying ever so hard not to bark at police officers on horses, or sniffing friendly other dogs. At least that’s how it seemed to me. And seeming is good enough - in fact it’s better than enough. If it seems good, IT IS GOOD! That’s what I say. Who cares about reality? Reality is for philosophers. I might not be a genius. But I learned this truth on my travels. Love and Fun are the only things that matter in this big old Universe. Everything else is for the birds, by which I mean the sparrows, not the clever birds like the parrot.

And the slogan on the box did not lie. The Virtual World was at least 100 times more exciting, vivid, and smellfull better than tedious reality.

So I was out with the squirrels, living in my virtual bliss, happy, and totally unaware what was happening in the Real World. Which is why, at this point in the story, I must hand over the honours of the telling to my dear old human friend, Marlow.

Marlow Narrates

Thank you Astropup. Yes, you were well and truly out of it. I strapped my own pair of goggles over my head, expecting to see something beautiful, like a king size mattress made of $100 bills, but nope, in my case nothing. I had picked up a faulty pair. Not so my other friend. I could tell because the parrot was positively cooing like a dove.

“What’s it like?” I asked. The parrot responded:
“I see beautiful plumage. Lovely feathers. A gorgeous beak. Oh elegant foul! You came fluttering into my life, the first bird I have ever set eyes on who is worthy of my love!”

“Hey, hey, keep off me, I’m not your love bird!” I exclaimed, because he was trying to perch on my shoulder and peck my cheek. I managed to brush off the love-struck bird and saw that it was a good thing that my goggles were out of action, because we needed at least one of us to remain fixed firmly in the real world. If we had all been living out blissful fantasies, who would fly the ship?

So I let them stay happy for the time being. It must have been about 24 hours later that things took a worrying turn. Astropup started to jump up and down, growling, and barking like a mad dog. This was not the cuddly Astropup I knew and loved. This was one aggressive spectacle wearing mutt! Something or someone had spooked him good and proper.

His yapping did not stop, and was starting to get on my nerves, when the parrot joined in the cacophony. Once again he was shrieking:

“Alert! Alert! Alert!”

“What’s happening now? I asked. He replied:

“Somebody shoot those scoundrels! They are kidnapping my darling Priscilla!”

I figured out that Priscilla was the name of the imaginary parrot that had smitten him with the pangs of love.

“Hey, cool down, my friend,” I said. “Nobody’s kidnapping anyone. Everything you are seeing is virtual reality. You’re just having a bad dream!”

But the parrot kept on flying this way and that, and Astropup would not stop barking. I tried to grab my old dog friend to whip off his goggles, but he snarled viciously at me.

“Hey, what’s up Astropup!?” I said.

And the parrot squawked at me: “You foolish villain! Do you expect a faithful hound to roll over and let the cat people take his owner? He might be a dum mutt, but he’s loyal to the last!”

Of course, by now I had realised the VR goggles were no longer providing blissful visions to my two friends. In fact, their dreams had turned into nightmares. Both my companions imagined that the loves of their lives were being kidnapped. But dreams and reality were now colliding because the parrot began to peck at the control desk. The ship turned around. He fired the booster rockets, and we were propelled the wrong way; in the direction where doom lay in wait for us. We were flying towards the Amarda of Cat Ships!

“Hey why are we going that way?” I demanded to know.

“To rescue our loves from the cat people,” replied the parrot.

“Woof! Woof!” cheered on Astropup, as if it was the greatest thing ever that we were flying into mortal danger.

“But only death lies that way,” I pleaded.

“I will die happy laying down my life for Priscilla,” said the parrot. “And Astropup will fight tooth and claw to the death for Jenny.”

“But, but, what about me? Can’t you just wake up?” I said.“Your dreams are driving us to destruction.”

“Dreams! Distraction! Destruction! How Glorious! How Romantic!” raved the parrot.

“Not for me. My VR Goggles don’t even work,” I sighed mournfully, almost wishing that I was blissfully unaware of our dreadful fate.

But I was awake, and I couldn’t just stand by and watch this deluded parrot drive us to our doom. I tried to elbow him out of the way and take hold of the controls. He pecked and clawed back viciously and then OOOOOOCH! Astropup bit my ankle! I never thought my old friend would turn on me. My instinct was to kick, but how could I hurt my canine companion? I knew he would never do me any harm in the real world. It was those goggles that had got to his brain. I did not have to ponder this dilemma for long, because all of a sudden there was a sudden prick in my arm, and next my head went swirly and my legs gave way. As I went under, losing consciousness, I knew what had happened. The parrot had shot me with a miniature tranquilizer gun that he kept in a secret compartment on the control desk. It was meant for use on aliens invading the ship. I had forgotten about it - until just then - when it was too late - I was so, so, so, terribly sleepy, and honestly did not care anymore whether we lived or died.

When I awoke, I soon found out that I was handcuffed to a secure rail. The parrot and the control desk were out of my reach. There was nothing I could do to stop us flying straight for the fleet of Cat Ships. And what was worse, he must have found a shortcut through space, through one of those turbulent wormholes, because within a few hours of travel, the Very Command Ship of the Cat Fleet was in sight. Its jaws were open. And the dreadful thing about it was this. We were flying deliberately into the mouth of our enemy! It was like the worst possible nightmare where you know you are doing something dangerous and foolish and there is nothing you can do to stop yourself!

It was only then that I felt the warm lick of a dog’s tongue over my face and the friendly voice of a bird saying:

“Marlow, wake up! You’re having a bad dream!”

And slowly I awoke. I saw my friends, the dog and the parrot.

“Don’t do it,” I pleaded. “Don’t fly us into the jaws of death!”

“Just take off the goggles,” said the parrot. “I think you’ll find it’s much safer here in reality.”

“Hey, take off your goggles!” I replied. But then I realised that there was a tight band around my head. Slowly I felt with my hands. And yes, he was right. I was wearing VR goggles. I removed them, and blinked. My two friends were still looking at me, and neither of them were wearing goggles.

“What happened?” I asked. “I mean it’s good. You’ve taken off the goggles, but what happened to the Cat Command Ship?”

“There’s no Cat Command Ship,” said the parrot, “except in your fevered imagination.”

“My imagination?” I said. “You’re the ones living out your weird dreams.”

Astropup shook his head. The parrot tut-tutted. Eventually he told me, “My dear Marlow. I think you have this situation upside down. We all tried on the goggles, but after a couple of hours, mine and Astropup’s stopped working. Yours did not malfunction. You seemed to be content. We left you in your happy world of delusion. But then you started to rant and rave, and you were clearly having a nightmare. We did all we could to rip the goggles from your head, but you fought us like a madman. I had to shoot you with a tranquilizer to calm you down.

I scratched my head. Now this was confusing. What was real? And what was not real? Had we been living in my dream or theirs?

Astropup

Thank you Marlow for giving us your dream story. I must admit that all of this is way too complicated for my little doggy brain. I can only try and tell you what the parrot thinks of all this. In the opinion of my learned friend, the greatest bird brain in the galaxy, the VR goggles were a cunning trick of the Cat People. We were indeed supposed to live out the dream that Marlow described in his story. Fortunately the goggles worn by the parrot and me stopped working. Perhaps the batteries were faulty. If they had not stopped working, everything would have happened just as Marlow described. The parrot and I would have lost our minds and been determined to fly to the Cat People in a glorious but useless attempt to save our phantom loves, the mere creatures of our dreams. Marlow would have been helpless to stop us. But instead, the parrot and I had lucky escapes. Only Marlow carried on dreaming his part.

Meanwhile the parrot and I were living back in boring reality. But now I know the good thing about boredom. At least it is safer than delusion.

Thank you Astropup and Marlow for that story that's even more spaced out than usual.
And thank you to Rxbar Kids for sponsoring this story. Don't forget to check out Storynory.com for details on how you can get 25% off your first order of this healthy snack.
For now, from me Richard, at Storynory.com.
Goodbye!

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